Transformation Toolbox, Episode Four: Tools for Finding Purpose and Meaning

Purpose is a part of finding meaning in life. Researchers’ definitions of meaning typically incorporate three themes: 1) the belief that your life and contributions matter to others and yourself and that they have a positive influence, 2) the feeling that your life makes sense, and 3) the feeling that you are actively pursuing fulfilling goals, which is purpose.

Purpose comes from identifying and pursuing your fundamental, overarching aims or long-term goals. It provides a “north star” that helps guide your life choices and actions. Feeling a sense of purpose helps sustain motivation because there is a clear sense of a reason, a “why”,  for doing the things you do. Knowing the “why” makes the “how” of your goal-directed actions more tolerable and enjoyable because they are now connected with a long-term goal and are seen as valuable and important.  Purpose propels you forward and points to your next steps when you get stuck, because you know where you are trying to end up.  

Finding purpose is a process that unfolds through life experience, self-reflection, guidance, feedback, and testing things out as life unfolds. It is not about success, and it can shift. It sits at the intersection of skills, interests, passion, and values/beliefs. These 5 tools are building blocks to help you develop a sense of purpose.

1) Recognize your skills, strengths, and talents: You have strengths, skills, talents, or gifts that you’ve developed over time that are part of your unique identity. If you are unsure about what those are, ask yourself and others who know you well (family, friends, colleagues) these questions:

•                  What am I particularly good at?

•                  What do I enjoy doing?

•                  How will I leave my mark on the world?

You can also take an inventory using this simple exercise from asset-based community development. Think about and list your gifts of the head, things you know something about, and would enjoy sharing or teaching others about (e.g., music, languages, math, problem solving, finances, agriculture, etc.). Then, think about and list your gifts of the hands, things you know how to do and enjoy doing (e.g., carpentry, painting, writing, gardening, cooking, etc.). 

2) Look to the people you admire:  Sometimes, the people you admire most in life give you a clue about how you may want to contribute to the world yourself. They are your role models, and they can be found in all realms of your life. They may be famous heroes or people you know personally. Those you admire can provide a template and ideas, and can motivate, especially younger adults, to work toward a greater good.

3) Define Your Values: Values are central to your identity, helping define who you are and what you stand for. They are beliefs that define how you live and work, and how you see yourself and others. Values help you make choices that align with your beliefs and priorities. Values act as a framework for decision making and act as a moral compass, helping you in ethical dilemmas or when there are no rules or guidelines. There are hundreds of values. I like this list from Brene Brown https://brenebrown.com/resources/dare-to-lead-list-of-values/

Here are a few values clarification questions to ask yourself:

•                  If you were to inherit 50 million dollars, what would guide you in deciding how to spend the money?

•                  Think about a time you were proud of yourself. What made you proud?

•                  Think about a time you overcame a difficult life event. What got you through it?

•                  What qualities do you see in people you respect that you aspire to?

•                  Imagine yourself at your 90th birthday. For what do you want to be remembered?

4) Reflect on what matters most: Purpose is all about applying your skills toward contributing to the greater good in a way that matters to you. So, identifying what you care about is an important first step. These are gifts of the heart (e.g., protection of the environment, civic life, children, fairness, faith, etc.).  Sometimes it can be hard to single out one or two things that matter most to you because your circle of care and concern is far-ranging. Understanding what you value most may help you narrow it down, as will focusing on the communities in which you live, where you can have a direct impact.  You can also consider who you want to serve.

5) Make an impact through volunteering. To find your purpose, you have to move past self-reflection to begin to test out what activities enable you to use your skills to make a meaningful difference in the world. Volunteering in a community organization focused on something of interest to you could provide you with some experience and do good at the same time. Working with an organization serving others can put you in touch with people who share your passions and inspire you. It’s easier to find and sustain purpose with others’ support, and a volunteer network can introduce you to opportunities and a community that shares your concern.